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Taking A Look Back and Moving Forward…

As I say goodbye to another year and welcome 2012, I have taken some time to reflect on my past, understand that the experiences I’ve been through have made molded me into the person I am today. I’ve accepted that even though I can’t change the past, I do have the power to change my future so that the past does not continue to haunt me. It is a process that begins with accepting that the past is one that should not be repeated, having the will, then finding the strength to follow through and truly change the future.

When my life was turned upside down inside out, I was overwhelmed with emotions…fear, doubt, anger, love. The most difficult was losing my pets because they were my everything, my link to reality, my “kiddos”. Even afterwards dealing with continued health problems ranging from post traumatic stress, depression, anxiety, insomnia, migraines to now discovering the stress has affected my blood sugar and thyroid. I did not know if I would ever find my way through the mess of frustration, the loss of my life as I once knew, and find may way to begin again.

Fortunately, I have a strong support system. Family and friends came to visit me from out of town when they could. While I did not have much family in town, I did have friends. At first I did not want anyone to see me in the condition I was in nor did I want anyone’s help because I felt I needed to be able to do for myself. I tried so hard to hide the pain and bleeding internal wounds. I felt weak to have to lean on others, but I also did not want to deal with those stares, gossip and crude jokes from all around. I was embarrassed of another failed marriage and blamed myself for allowing myself to get into yet another abusive and unhealthy relationship. I wasn’t answering anyone’s calls not even from the insurance or my attorneys. My bills were stacking up and was behind on all payments. My weight had dropped to literally skin and bones. I honestly did not see the toll this was taking on me. My dear friends stepped in and literally camped out with me for days. They helped me see that I could not longer continue the path I was on because it was one of self-destruction.

There are many things I have learned through all of this madness. A strong support system, holding on to my faith, understanding it was not my fault, and asking for help are the most important things that have guided me to find my way back to “life”. I was able to let go of the worry what others thought of me. Accept my past as part of who I am. Keep my chin up with one foot in front of the other. While a very difficult transition, I was finally able to return to work and prove to myself that I was a much stronger person and in a better place.

Finding a strong support system is not as easy as it sounds. While family is always there to be supportive, friends, true friends…well you just never know until something like this happens to you. I believe a true friend is someone who sticks by you when you are down and celebrates with you when you are up. It’s someone with mutual trust, who understands you, knows the real you and appreciates the person you are and, most of all, doesn’t judge you.

Sure, there are many types of friendships. There are situational friends that see each other regularly, have fun together, even share occasional disappointments, but when you move or something changes, you don’t stay in touch. Then there are casual friends that meet each other once in a while, go out for lunch and dinner, catch up on the news/gossip. You like each other, appreciate the company, but are are not best friends. Of course, there are close friends who understand the real you, help when you’re in trouble and are people you can rely on in good times and bad. They will not judge you, they let you in their lives, and care about you deeply. You see these friends more like family. Such people don’t come along often and are the friendships to be cherished.

Sometimes friendships disintegrate or people grow out of them when you don’t spend time together, have fun together and talk (I mean really talk about your lives, decisions, whatever is going on). It really depends on the person. Myself, I value loyalty above all others. I would never let my friends down, I stick by them and they by me. We understand we are human and make mistakes that with the occasional misunderstanding, we know there is forgiveness and love because the relationship is more important. Yes, we always have family, but at some point, everybody needs a friend too.

Happy New Year everyone! May your faith be strengthened, life be humbled, and your journey filled with with more joy than sorrow…and if not, maybe it’s time to take a look back so you can move forward. Take some time to evaluate your past and understand what you want for your future. Ask yourself if you have the support system to help you. If you find that you have been too busy to reach out and be a friend, make the time. Make the time to cherish the family and friends who are important to you. You just never know if someone you love and cherish is afraid to ask or even realize they need help.

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About Vero

Born of German descent and adopted by a Mexican family, I am fluent in Spanish, but you would never guess until you heard me speak. Because of my unique background and upbringing, I am open-minded and embrace the Hispanic culture as part of who I am. Texas is where I was born and raised and would prefer not to live anywhere else unless it’s just where life takes me.

My faith is strong so I know that I am where the Lord needs me so I do the best I can and surround myself with as much positive energy to help lift me through the challenging times. As far as regrets, I only regret the decisions I didn't make when I had the opportunity. Therefore, I try to embrace life and the opportunities presented to me.

My family and friends are very important to me and I will go out of my way to give and help those I love or someone truly in need. I surround myself with positive and happy people because life is just too short to live any other way. I treat others how I want to be treated with respect, kindness, love, and most of all compassion. I use my life's experiences to help those less fortunate and I will not hesitate to do what I have to do for the greater good! I love animals and I don’t see myself living without a furry family because animals are nurturing for the soul.

Comments

  1. I know this is kinda late. But I just read this.
    First and foremost, I want to wish you a very Happy New Years.
     
    I can only imagine on how much you have been through and how hard it’s been.
    One thing I know for sure is seeing your beautiful smile on your pictures lets us know on how far you have come. Sometimes we hide behind those fake smiles and laughs to get us through the bad times but your right, it’s our friends and family that help lift us through the thick and thin. Sounds like you have a lot of amazing friends that helped you find your way back to us. You have such a big amazing heart and I would hate to ever see that change in you. Ben and Jerry are so lucky to have a mama like you. Anyone would. It was so great spending time with you last summer I didn’t want it to end. When or if I ever consider moving in your city then I know I found a roommate. LOL.. JK..
     
    There is a song by Sarah Evens called Little Bit Stronger.
    Not the whole song but parts of the song mostly the beginning of the song she talks about waking up late today and still feeling the sting of the pain, got dress through the mess and put a smile on her face. That before you know it a month’s gone by and you realized you haven’t cried cause you’re not giving another second or minute longer wasting your tears because your busy getting stronger. Your heart may never be the same even on your weakest days but you’re telling yourself you will be okay because your busy getting stronger.  
    Like I said not the whole song but certain parts remind me of you after reading your New Years post.
    I am so happy and thankful that your busy getting stronger, that your back at work and getting back to your life again. You have never left my prayers and still never will.
    In my last post to you I told you about Oprah’s Life Class. She talks about how when something tragic happens to you it becomes a situation. The more you talk about the situation, the more you release the situation, the more it doesn’t become a situation anymore. It comes a story. A story that we can all learn and grow from. I know in my heart you will do amazing things with your Living to Share. I will join you in saying, God bye to your past and knowing that your future will be something amazing.. Love you and God Bless. 
     
    Rene

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